Confused

Women confuse me. Japanese women confuse me more. Individual Japanese women confuse me the most.

I have one co-worker, we’ll call her Yuki (Not her real name), who confuses me greatly.

She’s about 25 and is somewhat new to teaching. Shortly after she came to this school a year and a half ago I heard her say she enjoyed foreigners and liked to experience foreigner culture in Japan. So, last year I invited her to a foreigner/Japanese Halloween party my company was having. It was a bust, but it seemed to be OK. We had dinner a few times as well last fall/winter. Everything was strictly platonic and it seemed we meshed fairly well. I bought her a CD for Christmas as I thought we were friends.

Things got kind of weird sometime in December and have stayed odd since. She became fairly distant, always coming up with excuses not to do something if I’d ask to go snowboarding or eating. She also went from being pretty friendly at work to being rather distant. I used to get an おはよう   “ohayou” (good morning in a casual/close manner. Maybe ‘mornin’) from her but recently I don’t even get the full on おはようございます (GOOD MORNING), which is verbotten in Japan. I only get a grumpy look.

Today I have no class and was searching for a class to go watch to fill up an hour. Yuki had a class in her 5th hour block that would have been perfect to join. So, I asked her if I could come in and watch. Here’s a bit how the conversation went:

Me: “What are you doing for 5th hour?”

Yuki: “Umm.. why?”

Me: “Oh, I just want to come and watch class if that’s ok.”

Yuki: “We have a test. A test.”

Me: (hint: I had already asked the kids and KNEW they didn’t have a test) “Whaaa? No you don’t. You’re lyin’ aren’t you, tease.”

Yuki: “Test. We have a test.”

Me: “Really? Are you sure?”

Yuki: “Test. We have a test.”

Some kid somewhere behind me: “Teacher, we don’t have a test.”

Yuki: “SHHH! Shut up.”

 

I left the room after that. Now is it just me or is this just plain bizarre? I used to think the issue was the old “a girl liked you, you didn’t reciprocate feelings, and now she’s going to treat you like ass” routine. But now I’m starting to think Yuki is simply a crabby, unstable person. I keep wondering if it’s something I did or should have done differently. I don’t know any more.

So, that’s my Friday. Other than that I caught a cold last night, my first one this year. I had 1 or 2 very minor ones before which disappeared before they even really began.

Have a good weekend. I will have a new drama review coming soon. Hopefully I’ll get a little more blogging done starting in December once graduate school application season is over.

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English Bubble

I’ve written about this in brief before.

This Sunday the largest foreigner get together in my prefecture is happening. In my village. That is saying something because foreigners are always in large groups. This confuses me a great deal. It also irritates me to some extent.

I have no idea why this is the case. Foreigners are almost always found in giant herds of mostly white faces doing whatever it is foreigners in Japan do, which, let’s be honest, is drink 90% of the time. I don’t understand the mindset of always wanting to be in a giant group whenever you’re doing anything. What is wrong with doing an activity with 2 or 3 people?

Even more confusing, is why so many people find it worthwhile to pack up their life, move half way around the world, and then hang out almost exclusively with the same groups of people they just got done moving away from. This makes 0 sense to me. If I wanted to hang out with foreigners and spend all my days speaking English I would have stayed in America. Why come to Japan to repeat something you can do back home?

This is the confusing part. It just makes no sense to me. I don’t understand the appeal of it and I don’t understand the rational reasoning behind it.

Here’s the irritating part.

JETs are the most common to be found hanging out in giant foreigner herds. Not coincidentally I would say roughly 60% of all the JETs I’ve ever met have only a limited grasp of Japanese even after 3 or 4 years in the country. Another 10-15% have only a somewhat more advanced understanding, capable of fudging their way through an easy conversation about the weather or sports.

It’s astonishing how many foreigners you can meet in Japan who know almost no Japanese despite having resided here for sometimes 10 years or more. As above, it never comes as a surprise to learn these people’s entire social networks consist of foreigners. Lots and lots of foreigners.

In America speaking English is a rather big pet peeve of most people. There are many different nationalities and many get upset when someone can’t speak English. It seems only a respect thing to try to speak as much a language in a country as possible. I don’t understand the mindset of people who can’t speak a word of Japanese after 1 or 2 years.

I find it irritating when someone can live in a country for several years and doesn’t know the language. At that point I feel you have to be going out of your way not to pick it up.

So, if you’re coming to Japan do yourself a favor: get out of the foreigner bubble. Or, if you decide you absolutely must hang out with giant herds of foreigners on a constant basis you might want to think about saving your money and staying home. Yes, you will see some sights in Japan, as many foreigners do. And you might even get a few nice cultural experiences out of it. But you’ll speak almost no Japanese at the end of it all, have drunk a ton of alcohol, spoke a lot of English, and seen a lot of western people. Doesn’t that sound like your life at home? Moving to Japan can cost a lot of money. Why spend it to do what you’re already doing?

By staying outside the bubble you’ll start to develop a more accurate taste of Japan. More importantly, you’ll actually start to develop some language skills. This will only open Japan up more, give you more options, and allow you not to feel like a baby in a country on a regular basis.